The Tales

Filth ain't filth if it's funny!

The best Nick Diaz quotes

 

Thanks to all the amazing posters on the Underground forum for this gem. I believe the original thread was on Sherdog, but it was brought to my attention by the UG. Enjoy!

 

“If people can’t handle watching me or they can’t handle the intensity of my life or they can’t handle me cussing saying fuck this and fuck, then you know, I think people really need to become a little more mature, kinda grow up a little bit…”

So Nick, would you agree your marijuana smoking has got in the way of your fight career?

“Actually, on the contrary, my fight career has gotten in the way of my marijuana smoking.”

“He just lost again right? See what I mean? You are promoting Rich Franklin and this motherfucker, here he is, letting it ride and he’s just trying to uphold his image. The guy’s a fucking teacher. He’s a school teacher – that’s what he is. If I was going to fight him I’d be pretty damn confident. I’m going to fight a teacher not a fighter. There are plenty of teachers I wanted to beat up.”

“If you’re getting paid more than me, I’m definitely more excited about this ass whoopin I’m gonna put down on you.”

“If I have a girlfriend, I don’t bring her to flaunt her. She doesn’t get to reap the benefits of me being famous.”

“I’m trying to fight Sakurai, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight Anderson Silva, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Georges motherfucking St.Pierre. I’m trying to fight … I didn’t mean to call Georges a motherfucker, but I ain’t got no problem getting there and fighting the best people in the world. Georges is a nice guy. I’m trying to fight Jon Fitch, I’m trying to fight Silva, I’m trying to fight K.J. Noons, I’m trying to fight everybody. I’m trying to fight Takanori Gomi, Sakurai, I’m trying to fuck everybody up. Fuck this shit. This is fucking gangster fucking warfare. I don’t give a fuck. You know what I mean?”

“Don’t be scared homie!”

“I got nothing against the guy, except that he is kind of a piece of shit”

For the record do you own a computer?

“After my last fight I bought one, I have no clue how to work it nor have any intention of chatting on here with you whores.”

Rogan: “So now do you have respect for Diego?”
Diaz: “Naw, not really.”

“Back in the day, a Ninja didn’t have his girlfriend sitting in the tree waiting to kill shit.”

“See if people are gonna hate just cause I say the word motherfucker, then fuck them, I don’t have time to worry about marketing and shit, in my last fight my hair looked like shit cause all I did was train… I have other letters but i’m not that good of a reader.”

Coming out of the UFC 67 weigh-ins:

“Diablo? who the fuck calls me diablo?”

All in relation to Gomi:

“He kinda just put his head down and looped some fucking punch out there that smacked me…I was like what the fuck?!?!?!?”

“There he is ….that little fucker.”

“That little fucker hit me with a Hadukan or something.”

“I beat his ass. But you know, that little fucker. Man that fucker is tough. I mean I hit him, but then he comes out with this karate shit and little dude can bang. I mean he fucked up my eye and shit… That’s why I went to the ground and go go’d him. You dont see that shit in MMA. Who in MMA go go’s anyone cept me.”

With regards to the Riggs hospital brawl:

Trigg – “You should have just closed the door Nick.”
Nick – “How the fuck am I gonna close the door? I ain’t no bitch.”

“For the record, right now, I think someone needed to come out and say it: I think smoking pot is good for mixed martial artists. It’s a new day and age, this is, uh, the year … Fuck year is it? I don’t know, because I’ve been training and smoking pot like I should, instead of paying attention to other bullshit, which I don’t do.”

On fighting in Stockton:

“Fighting in Stockton is going to be great for me. Stockton is a great fight town because if you drive long enough on some of these roads you’ll probably see a pretty good street fight.”

“So my bottom line is I wanted to get a bunch of this stuff off my chest is … is that … you know … I’m not no chump. I’m not going to just talk shit or whatever. I can’t remember where I was really going with that.”

“Because you get high all the time, you can’t find people that train all the time. But if you get high and train, you will get high and train all the time together and it will be fucking massive-takeover-smoke-weed-and-kill-people shit.”

“Making weed illegal is a little bit paranoid, don’t you think? It’s like saying God made a mistake, you know what I mean? It’s like, you’ve got the whole world and Earth and all its holy creations, right? And God is like, Hmm, lookit, my whole world in all its holy ways, and he’s like, Oh-my-me-oh-shit, I left weed in here. Yeah right, I left weed in here. Oh, shouldn’t have smoked that joint on the third day.”

Jesse Holland (UFCmania): Who paints their hair and toes?

“Dude everybody. C’mon man. Even Hermes Franca. One day he comes in with that goofy haircut. You got Jens Pulver, fucking Mayhem Miller. Some bitch he was talking to tried to offer me this piece of hydrogenated chocolate. What the fuck are these guys into? Give me some real chocolate. Real fighters eat real chocolate.”

Full on rant:

“For the record, right now, I think someone needed to come out and say it: I think smoking pot is good for mixed martial artists. It’s a new day and age, this is, uh, the year … Fuck year is it? I don’t know, because I’ve been training and smoking pot like I should, instead of paying attention to other bullshit, which I don’t do.”

“What I do is, I fight. So you know, I get on the ball and I do what I gotta do. And it’s funny, to come home, to fucking crash out, I don’t drink a bunch of — I don’t drink a shot of whatever and pop a bunch of Vicodin like everybody else.”

“I don’t see what it is about the way these people want to tell us — we’re mixed martial artists, right? I mean, you don’t tell your musical artists how to write their music, right? I mean, if you told them that and you said, “Hey, no drugs for you,” or “No alcohol for you,” or whatever, and you go back in time, you try to find me one musical artist that was any damn good whatsoever.”

“Just think of one, right now.”

“I mean, you can’t! Already — got you right there! You should’ve been able to think of one in 5 seconds, you know what I mean, that was any damn good without it. I said, fuck no, there is not one person that was any good, that was successful at all, unless they were fucking choking to death on their own vomit, every last one of them. They all — well, you know.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I like my rock stars choking on their own vomit and uh, you know, what’s it matter anyways?”

Vegas rant:

“Vegas is a fucking theme, dude, that shit doesn’t fool me.”

“Every fighter I know wants to move there and wants to live there. You gotta be kidding me. These fucking assholes. I mean — I love it, because they’re that dumb, I’m like, “I can’t wait to fight ’em, they’re so stupid.”

“They thrive off these big fucking fake-titty mutant chicks that are fucking disgusting whores, every last one of them. They’re all trying to do something to get somwhere, or if they’re out there they’re trying to fucking do it up with their old man somewhere else.”

“It’s just like, and regardless, you’re there — if I were there, I’d be there to meet some people, you know, like some endorsement deals, some things or whatnot. These people, they end up wanting to live there and move there. All they do is go out and drink and they can’t — they all drink. Even the ones that — even athletes there that don’t drink, the other ones force them into drinking and they don’t go out and stand around drink water like I do. I’ve seen ’em and they all fucking move to Vegas and they go to these clubs and it’s just like, “Dude you are fucking kidding me.”

“You know, I feel like I can go out there and live somewhere in a place like that — probably not that place, ever, I can hardly stay there for a fucking week, I hate it there, honestly — and then you know, make some money for myself, move back here, to some little spot, you know what I mean, where there’s fucking a vineyard on the side of it and I can shoot rabbits outside of my door with a shotgun and nobody’s gonna say shit to me. That would make me happy.”

 

3 comments on “The best Nick Diaz quotes

  1. Pingback: Did Nick Diaz betray his principles by posting pictures of his girl?

  2. Kit Cope
    October 28, 2011

    Yogi Berra is no Nick Diaz!

    Like

  3. Red
    October 26, 2011

    Some of those are classics, in a Tysonesque way.

    Like

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This entry was posted on October 26, 2011 by in MMA Cocktail, MMA on the Rocks and tagged , , , .

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