Tales FmV

Filth ain't filth if it's funny!

Firewater: Cry Baby Cry


There are a lot of tweets, forum threads, Facebook rants, and front page stories about the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) no longer allowing non affiliate sponsors at this year’s fan expo.

Following on the exclusive apparel deal with Reebok and the published pay rate based on fighter tenure, the Mixed Martial Arts community wants something to be done. Fighters deserve more than this.

Since the mainstreaming of the sport, fighters have been used to getting sponsors to promote on their fight clothing and cage side banners. How can they make enough money to be a professional, full-time fighter now? What can they do about it when they are under an ironclad UFC contract?

I think what they could do is to suck it up Buttercup. This is your welfare to work notification. You have approximately two months to learn what other sports figures have known for quite a few years; you have to market yourself.

The shoes with that little shadow man fellow aren’t called NBA’s Jordans. I still remember that Bo Knows lots of shit and can do anything you can imagine. I even know that Chuck Liddell has painted toes and can punch rocks into smithereens because something about a thingamabob, that goes in or on, your car makes it so.

Better yet let me phrase it this way; Fighters and independent companies are disappointed that they will no longer be able to feature non UFC products at the UFC Fan expo because the UFC says that only their chosen brands will be allowed at the UFC event. How many times did we have to read ‘UFC’?

The new UFC Fan Expo will no doubt be a shell of what it once was. UFC Athletes will sign for the UFC as a favor, because they are told it isn’t a requirement. But lets remember who is asking for this favor…the same company that can make sure you stay on FightPass prelims for the rest of your career. So what choice does the athlete really have?- From the Fight Chix blog.

A better, more productive, question should be asked of fighters and their non UFC approved sponsors; Why haven’t you rented the nearest available space to the official UFC event and leased out space to non competitors of your brand? Same traffic and the UFC doesn’t prevent fighters, who are not scheduled to fight at the end of the expo event, from promoting others. What’s the problem?

I understand businesses are used to things being the same as previous years, I was upset the first time my Mommy didn’t have my lunch ready when I came home from kindergarten. I stared at the dinner table, looked up at her, glanced at the empty stove. This bitch tripping, she knows I like to stroll in and eat while I watch Guiding Light. What the hell is going on here?

My mom told me that I was old enough to fix my own snack when I’m hungry. That  I know to change out of my school clothes before I go back outside to tear shit up. That I’ve been washing my own ass for the last year without someone coming in to wash my back. I was surprised and angry.

Then it occurred to me that this woman has been forcing me to eat fucking Chef Boyardee beef ravioli all goddamn year. She didn’t even let me crumble up those dry ass saltine crackers in it. I could now make a variety of food according to the demands of my stomach; I could have a feast when Reva and Josh from Guiding Light finally quit playing and get married. Again.

It was a rough transition. Sometimes my own efforts turned out to taste awfully nasty, but the more creative I became, the better my kindergarten food situation. Reva and Josh from Guiding Light did indeed get married while I ate a ham sandwich with jelly and mayonnaise.

Thanks for teaching me to be self sufficient Mom. Thank you for not keeping your gin squirting nipple in my mouth for longer than it needed to be. Hopefully, fighters, and their non affiliated UFC sponsors, will learn to feed themselves also.


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This entry was posted on May 12, 2015 by in Firewater, MMA Cocktail and tagged , , .

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