Tales FmV

Filth ain't filth if it's funny!

Tales From My Vagina: Behold The Wonder


I grew up in a small town. If you didn’t know someone personally, you definitely knew something about them or their family. Even smaller was the Black population. If you were single and lived in this town for any amount of time, it’s a given that your reputation would have proceeded you. Good or bad.


I had a small group of friends but a large group of people who knew about me or of me. I wasn’t popular, just a man-whore. I got the reputation of being a Black guy who liked White or Mexican girls only. In reality I was an equal opportunity dick giver; there just weren’t that many attractive Black females.

I was invited and attended a midnight Barbeque with my homeboy. When we got there we were surprised that we were the only men in a house full of women. All Black women. Free food, weed, and beer with a serving of pussy. It was a man-whore paradise.

Some of the chicks were cute, but I knew something about each and everyone of them that was a deal breaker. I smoked a joint in between shots of vodka with a beer chaser and watched my homeboy act a damn fool. He tried and succeeded in running through a couple of the girls.

I was more interested in getting faded. The girls I ignored started complaining to each other that I was an asshole. Necks and eyeballs started rolling in my direction. Attitudes and insults about me became harsher and louder. Until my friend Trickaboo Tina showed up.

Me and Tina go way back. In middle school she used to have a crush on me and would beat up any girl that I fucked more than once. I got to know her in high school and we became drinking buddies.

Tina wasn’t attractive. She was short, fat, had bad skin, horrible chipped and brown speckled teeth, and was damn near bald-headed. But she was the coolest bitch I ever met, she didn’t play games.

If she wanted something she stole it or took it by force. I’ve watched her get a dude she wanted by drinking his ass to bed. Tina could hold down some liquor and as soon as her prey was incapacitated, she’d hop on top and get to raping. That’s why I gave her the name of Trickaboo.

Tina sat next to me on the couch and we talked, laughed, and smoked the night away. Just straight clowning until one by one all the girls got mad and left. When it was just me and her, that’s when she made her move. Told me how she always wanted to fuck me but knew I didn’t look at her like that.

Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I slurred to her that I don’t fuck my friends. My vision was blurry, I had to concentrate and squint one eye to be able to focus. Tina stood up and took off her shirt. Huge, dark nipples, goose bump ridden titties stared at me. Eye to nipple.

They were fascinating because they were so damn big. But not enough to overcome the rest of her ugly. I just shook my head at her and told her to calm down and roll another joint. That was her breaking point.

She called me a scared ass nigga, grabbed my legs and pulled my drunken ass from the frayed couch to the faded blue shag carpet. I couldn’t stop laughing. Trickaboo Tina was going to try to take it.

In between hysterical laughter I kept calling out to my homeboy for help. Yelled ‘Rape!’ several times until my friend came from the back bedroom, looked and laughed too. He reminded me how I let him get got by Trickaboo and I was on my own.

I tried to push her off without hurting her, but she had me by a good hundred pounds and I was high as fuck. She got my dick free and started jerking me off. I still couldn’t stop laughing, especially when my shit wouldn’t get hard.

Trickaboo told me I was trying to play possum and she had the remedy for that. I was wiping the tears from my eyes when she turned her head away. Transfixed by the sight of her scalp peeking at me through a thin veil of hair I didn’t see what she was doing. Unable to look away, I blindly reached for my drink with one hand while trying to tuck my dick back in with the other.

Trickaboo Tina turned back to me, “Oh, naw Nigga! I got something for yo ass. You gonna be begging for this here pussy.” She pushed my hand away and her head swooped down on my dick. Warm, slick and moist. My hand with the drink stalled mid-air. GODDAMN.

She sucked my shit with so much power; took it all. On the come up she did something with her mouth that was like nothing I’ve felt before. Hard and soft at the same time; like wet velvet knuckles.

My dick sobered and stood up in an instance. Dimly, I wondered what was different about this blow job. I couldn’t put it together. She swallowed my dick like a stiff drink.

I felt her rough tongue, the silky insides of her cheeks, the dry heat from the roof of her mouth, and her throat cock (uvula) shimmied up and down my dick like the death dance of a hanged man. Forgetting myself, I reached down to grab her hair and lift her off before I came.

My hand slid right through her shy hairline and came to rest on her oily neck. My mind start returning and I tried to push her off my dick. Her mouth clamped down on me; the more I pushed her away the harder she sucked. Her jaw clenched when she bit down on me, her nose shoved into my pubic hair.

It felt like a ring of pressure at the base of my dick while the tip was sucked deeper into her throat. That was all she wrote. I blasted and she swallowed it all.

My breathing was still unsteady when she let my dick slide out of her mouth and looked up at me, “See, I told you nigga.” Something wasn’t right. Her mouth had wrinkled around the edges and after every word it caved in on itself. I pretended not to hear her and asked her to say it again. I needed a better look.

“Told you nigga, after you get hard again you gone be begging for this here.” There went her mouth again, swallowing her lips. Then I saw the triple suck. That Grandfather face. Her lips pursed, drooped, imploded. Puckered, frowned, and caved in. Blew a kiss, took it back, and hid.

“Tina, what the fuck is going on with your mouth?” I was drunk enough to be tactless. She threw back her head and belly laughed. I stared at the whiskers on her chin and waited. “Nigga! Was this your first Gum Job?” She cackled again, reached to the side and brought up a perfect set of pearly white dentures.
Laughing she told me, “I got my new teeth last year fool!” My hand with the drink finally became unfrozen , I downed the cup of vodka in one gulp.


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This entry was posted on November 30, 2015 by in NightCaps, The Tales and tagged , , , , , .

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