The Tales

Filth ain't filth if it's funny!

The Happy Homemaker

happy homemaker

I was having a random catch up conversation with an ex co-worker I hadn’t seen in a while. Of course the conversation turned to men, dating, and love.

This friend was a 43 year old female born again virgin. Meaning that she had a sexual encounter once with a man 20 years ago and never since.

She told me how she gets a lot of interest on her religious website where celibacy is required and celebrated. Curious, I asked what she does if the conversation/chat turns sexual. She said she was a maverick in her group. She had no problem talking about sex, masturbation, and/or sex toys.

Knowing how shy she was due to her large body size, I laughed a little and said I would’ve loved to see her buy a sex toy at a sex shop. That’s when she confided that she just uses household items when having cyber sex. I had to ask.

She said that she tried the oval knob from her four poster bed frame, but it was too thick and immobile.

The metal toilet paper holder rod pinched when she shoved it inside herself and the spring had too much give to penetrate properly.Also, she felt it wasn’t long enough due to her short arm reach and large belly.

She said that she hit the jackpot when she tried a cucumber from her refrigerator. The only draw back was if she got unexpectedly horny, it didn’t have time to warm up. But her internal heat soon took care of that.

Apparently, it worked for others also. She met her husband on that website, diddled herself with a cucumber, and they’ve been married for several years and have two children.

Anonymous

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This entry was posted on July 15, 2016 by in The Tales and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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