Filth ain't filth if it's funny!
A couple of years ago I was speeding down the highway, a nice cocktail in one hand, a Newport in the other. Of course I got pulled over doing 70 mph in a 55 mph zone. Blah.
At the time I was a little bit tipsy and not wearing my contacts. So the police officer who pulled me over was a vague blur. I smiled, gave him the seductive stare and my phone number. He gave me a warning and escort to my destination. What a doll.
He calls the next day and we set up a date. When I saw him all I thought was that he looked like a pink pecker with a uni brow. Full on connect. But his voice was pure honey. I went to the restroom of the restaurant and removed my contacts. Done deal baby.
Dinner and drinks go great. The blur across from me was respectful, funny, and he sounded so damn good. We finish and go to the parking lot to figure out what’s next. He manhandles me into the most erotic kiss. Gentle biting, not too much spit. Nibble, tongue swirl, suck. I know I’m going to get me some of this.
We get in the front of his car and continue kissing. He takes out my breast and bites it just like I like. Oh, yeah. Then he grabs his boner and breathes against my nipple, “I’m so wet, baby.”
Hunh? What was that again? “I’m so wet. You have me so turned on I’m oozing wet for you!” Get out of here. “Your penis is wet?” Just to clarify this IS a penis situation.
Around my nipple he says, “Yeah, when I’m with someone as sexy as you, my dick just oozes and leaks. I’m so ready for you, I’m wet. You like that baby? You like making me wet?”
I hurriedly took my nipple back, jumped out of his car and into mine. I sped off as fast as my Geo Metro would allow.