The Tales

Filth ain't filth if it's funny!

Randomosity

k12981886

About 3 years ago I went out clubbing. My sense of direction is completely out of whack so of course I ended up lost. Lost and frustrated.

Eventually I saw a semi ghetto club and stop for some cocktails. I’m sitting at the bar on my first drink when a Random approaches.

I was just bored enough to engage in lame conversation. This guy starts talking about my shoe selection and how cool they are. Blah. But I love shoes and I love talking about me.

I tilt to the side to better demonstrate the freshness of my high heel shoes and lose my balance. I fell to the left, to the left, oh to the left to the left, grab your drink and fall to the left (only with no Beyonce-ish recovery). Me and the subsequent bar stools tumbled like domino’s at a black bar-b-que.
Like every embarrassing public event, I recovered quickly and jumped up. It was mad embarrassing because there were only 3 other people in the bar.

I jumped up and pointed to my Random accusingly and told the rushing security guards dramatically, “He pushed me! He pushed me down!”

His face was comical. “You don’t need to do anything”, I told the bouncers. “I’m leaving, but he pushed me and I don’t know why.” So I left, laughing my ass off all the way home.

Fast forward 3 years. I meet a possible candidate on Blackplanet. He’s cool. Not my usual shit, but my usual shit is very casual and I’m thinking about turning a Random into a steady.

I set up a meet at a local hole in the wall. I started getting faded because it’d been a while and I’m was fucking bored.

The guy shows up and we’re yapping it up. Conversation turns to my tattoos, I leaned to the side to show off a couple of them. Mr. Random points and gapes.

Apparently he had a flashback. He recounts the bar stool incident and I crack the fuck up laughing. I can’t stop. Talk about random.

And he’s totally upset about the shit. Says the security kept asking him, “Man, why you push that girl?!”

I ended up fucking him but that’s a whole different Tale.

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This entry was posted on December 31, 2016 by in The Tales and tagged , , , , , , .

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